Saturday 27 August 2016

Death Was So Close, I Could Smell It


Have You ever really smelled death? It means really have a smell what smell? This has a horrible smell. Worse than a nose full of the carcasses of dead animals on the roadside. Worse than a skunk. the smell just.

Cancer my husband has been growing the last few months before surgery, I could smell death. He took his life, strangle him from the inside. It was so weak and lifeless that all I could do to make him drink water. Death has a grip on him and it was hard. It's almost to the point of giving in the dark he thought it was inevitable.

I have to fight for her. It is a difficult thing to do. I have to be mean and insist he drink something every few hours only to remain alive until the day of surgery. I swear that if we had to wait one more day, this will be a place that is completely different.

Finally, the day of surgery was here. Our daughter drove us to the hospital and his brother joined us soon after we arrived. We lived there for about 30 minutes waiting for him to get prepared for surgery. my heart is aching. She looked so weak and pale. I'm so scared and I know that he is too.

they allow me to sit with him when he is ready for the operation. The doctor explained that they will take all of the votes and most of the back of the tongue. They really should cut him from ear to ear. The operation was about 5 hours.

It was the longest five hours of my life. Way, I walk out, play the game on my phone and it is stimulated again. I can't get the image of my husband so pale and weak. He was always strong, now I have to.

After five hours, the doctor came out and explained how the surgery 'go. He was sure that he got all the cancer, but have to take so many languages and the muscles of the swallow that he is afraid he will be on a feeding tube for the rest of his life. WHAT !!! No! That just isn't an option. He loves to eat. I just know that it will not be OK with him. So I decided not to tell him that the little 'information.

The next few days are a blur of nurses and doctors that control the etching, clean it up and show you exactly what You need to do once we were released to go home. After a few days of healing and not allowing him to even try to swallow, the nurse came in with some fluid to test to swallow. I held my breath and crossed fingers my hands and my feet waiting to see if he can do it. And he did it. We started with the liquid, slowly walked to the semi-solid like Jello, pudding and Malt-o-Meal. Doc surprises! He did it!

this diet is continued, and gradually moved on to the soup which will melt him, so that he could swallow easily. Now, he can eat anything and even if she ate slowly, she ate.

Of operation, how to get our lives back in order and adapt to the changes that accompany a total laryngectomy, sometimes a little breath of death that almost took him from me. It takes me back a few months horrible before the tumor has been removed.

Life forward. We have a day until we and down day. As the new year, we leave the stench of death behind us and move on with plans for the future that excites. I have to remind him often that there are still people who I married, just with a little modification.

We begin to function as a pair of integrated. My voice, I have her support, we rely on each other and would not have it any other way.

Life sometimes throws some bumps terrible on the road, but there is a strong and You can get through anything. travel this cancer that has been trying for us. She needs me and I need it. We can rely on each other to be there without hesitation.


But I will never forget the smell like death knocking at our door.

0 yorum:

Post a Comment